Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sneboy98's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Saturday, June 28th, 2008
11:03 pm	life What a strange subject, don't you think? I could mean a lot of things... What is life? How do you define life? The meaning of life? It will all be answered in this post. Just kidding. I'm sorry if I just gave anyone false hope there for a second but the real answer isn't so easy. It's different for every person, every living thing, nobody can tell you what it is. and thats the way it goes. For any of you who have read any of my other journal entries you prob know why I am writing this one too. Those of you who haven't noticed that there is a common topic within every one of my posts needs to get glasses. I ma, of course, talking about my relationship. Today my girlfriend broke up with me, and gave me a second chance with attachments.  You know I can't saw I didn't see this coming I prob stated in an earlier post that this was going to be the final problem anyway. I'm not good enough for her. Thats all it comes to. She wants someone that i'm not, and she can't deal with it nemore. She just doesn't want me to be a part of her life. I mean, just now, she doesn't even know if she loves me or not, she doesn't even know! But I am a fool. Thats all i'll ever be. I love her so much, I told her, no, i promised her that I would try to change myself to her liking. and try i'm going to do. Thats all i can do. try harder than I've ever tried to do anything, because this is the one thing that I care about more than anytihng else! So i'm going to try until I die. Theres no other way around this, no alternate path, no hidden passage. I mean its crazy I know, its INSANE! Trust me if I could do anything to not love her anymore than I would. But I can't, I'm just not like that. It's the way I was put here. I can't fail. I can't let her slip away. This is beyond just my feelings. ha, imagine that. The most ironic thing. I'm about to post something here that nobody knows. noone at all. Just me and Him. but its alright because I know that nobody knows about this journal. I just need somewhere to write it down. For those of you that do, I trust you enough to be able to read what I'm really like when nobody else is there. My girlfriend (ex?) and I are completely different. I mean total, TOTAL, opposite. First the obvious. I'm a boy and shes a girl. just getting that out of the way. and then theres me tall and skinny and shes short! Nothing wrong with that, I actually like it, i'm just pointing out things. Now for the crazy stuff. She uses the left side of her brain, like totally, and I totally use the right. COMPLETELY different in the way we see things and thing and EvErYThInG! She is creative, she goes outside the knows boundaries of knowledge and just creates, does stuff just because she wants to, just because her imagination went there. She doesn't question it or wonder why, or how it works, she just believes. I am the total opposite. I can't do that to save my own life. I need proof for everything, I look for the right way to do things, the right answer, the perfect way, the solution. I follow the directions exactly how they tell you to. I don't guess. I have to be sure. 100% positive. Thats why I don't make decisions when I don't have to. What if they're the wrong ones? The only decisions that I make are the ones that I feel are 100% correct. With proof to back me up. You want to know why i'm quiet? because idk if waht i want to say is right. I hate being wrong. Anybosy that knows me knows that about me. Now you can see why. I get everything so exact, or so I think. and then i get proved wrong. everything that i've been contemplating about is wrong. EPIC FAIL. GAME OVER. GOOD DAY. and thats that. So in spite of all this I love her more than I love myself. I think she is a better person than myself, she has a better future than myself, and just overall better. She is somebody that I look up to. That I ask for advice even though I have already decided on an answer, I ask her neway. And then what can I do for her in return? nothing. I can't help somebody who is already a better person than myself. All i'm doing is bringing her to a place she doesn't want to be. Now for the ironic part. Some of you may know that in the beginning I didn't like her at all. It was God that led me to the path that I am on now. Let me pause for a min to explain a few things. I don't go to church regularly. I don't read the bible every day but I do at least more often then some people think. (That's going to change) And the reason I don't do these things is because I feel as though its not needed. I feel His presence. Anywhere and Everywhere. Not just at church. He is with me, no matter where I go. Its not like He sees me better when I go into a church. He doesn't care more about the people that go to church every week then those that don't. He loves every single thing equally. God is not biased. God is perfect. God knows that I know that he is there. And He knows how I feel about churches. He knows that I think churches embezzle people for their money, and that some people just take advantage of that to make a buisness. I don't like it. I think it's wrong. The places that arn't known as well. The underground facilities that don't take donations or profit of any kind. The places that worship God just because they love them. That is where you will find His presence the strongest. Where it is needed. Trust me, I am well aware. Some of you may not understand and that is fine, but He tells me that it is ok, I don't have to go to church, He is happy that I understand what I understand and loves me just the same as everybody else. Now back to was saying before I started explaining things. The reason why I love my girlfriend so much now is because it is absolute. He told me that I need to be and example. By loving her and being with her, I can help show the world that differences don't mean a thing. I already stated about that we are complete opposites and He knew that all along. He wants me to cherish those differences and show the world that its ok to be different. People can be different and still get along. Different races, religions, beliefs, sizes, anything. I didn't really know what to think of what He told me but I was reassured soon enough. A kid that needs his proof to believe anything got it. Soon after we started going out, something broke out at our schools. The Arts academy and the Math and Science academy are right next to each other and share the same facilities.  One day a line of tape was put across the hallway showing that there was a separation. I, who had never noticed this before suddenly got the light bulb. It all suddenly made sense. Just looking up and knowing that He was looking down and smiling at me, i knew. My girlfriend and I are living proof that everyone can put aside their differences and love each other. God has always been there for me throughout my entire life and never disapointed me when I called for Him. Now it was time, to do something for Him too. So you may be wondering what the ironic part is? Well i'm going to tell you. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday (it is now 12:01, but the time next to the post is going to be the time in which i started writing this so it will say something earlier) because she feels as though that I don't try hard enough to be with God, I don't try to let Him into my life. And thats the reason. You may think thats stupid but the truth is, she doesn't know any of what I just wrote. Its not that I just forgot to tell her. It's that Gods plan doesn't just include me learning, she needs to learn too. She needs to learn that people of different beliefs can love each other, and that it is ok. She broke up with her last boyfriend because he didn't believe in God. And then I'm given this task. Its too much of a coincidence to just let it pass by. So this is what I have been doing. Not letting her in on the relationship I have with Him in order to show her, or at least try to show her, that as long as you love somebody in your heart, just like God loves us, then it doesn't matter if they believe in God or not. Unfortunately, it's not going so well. All day today I questioned why this was happening. I thought I was doing a good job because everyone saw how different were were and yet, they knew we loved each other so much. And I thought my girl friend was starting to realize too, that its ok, because she stopped talking to me about religion. But it wasn't because she started understanding, it was because she didn't want to argue about it. Because that what I did, I kept questioning her, and we would get into arguments. But its all falling apart now. Is He telling me that I should let her know? I don't think she has learned anything. She broke up with me because of my lack of connection with God in her eyes. I don't think He wanted that. but He knows. He was with her, she was on a missionary trip, and I know that the presence is strong there. Maybe she has a task that she has to fulfill just like me. So thats where it's at. I just about failed. She doesn't even know if she loves me anymore. Should I just let her know? but wouldn't that also render my task useless? the object is for her to understand on her own, to figure it out by herself. If I tell her, then I fail. Either way, It seems like there is no way out of this one. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. God, I don't want to ask you directly what to do because I feel as thought I'm missing a valuable lesson myself, but if could give me just a little tiny sign of what to do, I think I'll be able to figure out the rest. Thank you. Amen (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 19th, 2008
1:04 pm	yeah uh i got back from mv last nite and i missed my gf so much. well i'm in school right now, as a matter of fact, in robotics. as you can guess i'm not feeling too good or i wouldn't be writing this would i? So I got to see my gf and right off the bat it looked as though there was something wrong as soon as I saw her. I asked her and she said everything was perfect which I doubt. neway shes barely holding my hand, not really kissing me anymore, and it feels as though she has lost her love for me. She just says she is acting herself and this is the way she has always been. I don't even know though, girls are very strange. this is prob her way of getting back at me for accusing her of lying about this guy she was with during work crew and she was all pissed that i didn't trust her. I mean i hcan understand that she can be angry but the guy looks exactly like me. I don't even need to argue it, i had more than enough reason to question her about it. its the fact that shes taking revenge out on me for doing it. I mean i just wanted to know what was going on and then we resolved the issue and I left for the weekend.  She really doesn't have to make me feel bad in the beginning of a new week by doing this right? I mean is that fair? If you think it is then please let me know what I can't see because i really want to understand why she feels that she has to go and handle it like this.  I mean all thats shes acomplishing by doing this is making me feel like something wrong and that she doesn't love me and wants nothing more than for me to break up with her. am I wrong? somebody please help me. does she still love me? Current Mood: Idk (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
10:22 pm	haven't been in awhile sometimes I wonder if people actually read these. That would be a little weird, cuz i wouldn't know about it, but, its my fault for posting this info anyway so its not like I can get mad at them or anything. So i havent posted in a long time, and this one isn't going to be that long either, i was thinking of writing earlier today but i went to sleep on the couch because i needed to let my mind free for awhile, you always feel better after a nap, it may not be much but at least its a little better. You know the funny thing?  its seems that the only time that I post is when i'm not happy about something. Somebody that would be reading these would probably be like, wow what a sad person this is. The truth is idk y I only post when i'm feeling bad, i guess it makes me feel better, and when i'm feeling good i'm too busy doing other stuff to bother writing about something. But just for pointers if you know me personally you would know that i'm not mostly a sad person, its rather the opposite. I look at life in an interesting way i think. Did you know that there will never be this day again? I mean of course you knew but did you actually think about it? there will never ever be another May 15, 2008 at 10 at night evr again, this is the only one, and what are you doing? Is that what you wanted to be doing? No? then why are you spending that only moment in time doing something that you don't want to be huh? interesting rite? I think so so yeah i said this wasn't going to be long so i better end it cuz i have so much homework to do, idk waht i'm going to do, and just other stuff is going on and i just, i need a break. from everything. I can't wait till the summer, it'll give me the breath and fresh air that I need. But thats not for awhile so i just have to hang in there and give it the rest of my power, like the extra burst of speed at the end of a long race, using up every last drop. so goodnight, and i wish luck to all the happy people out there keeping things going while i'm away! Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Sum 41- The Hell Song (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
8:43 pm	Hey Guys! I updated one week ago it says. So that means hmm what happened? uh best part of my week? i guess that would be... idk nothing really pops up, just that i got into the Nation Honor Society. best part of today...? That would be this morning before school started, i was with my gf, and we were just sitting there sto comfy and relaxed... oh it was so good. but she doesn't even understand what i mean. When i told her that was the best part of my day she like got all defensive and like didn't believe me or something... idk. Its just, were such different people. its like we have such stupid arguments. I don't like it. I don't like any confrontations. I kno they're healthy but i just don't like them. I'm bad at them, i can't get my points straight and nothing good ever comes out of them. A relationship is all about how long you can be with a person and still have the good times outlast the bad times. If you can do that forever then your set. So like its still good tho I love her, i'm not gunna just stop for a couple things that make me fee really bad. Eh, I gotta do hw but i'm really excited that I got into the national honor society and that i'm goign to Kansas City for a robot competition!!! My life is pretty normal right now, its settling down into a normal routine which is pretty good i think. Spring here and its just going to get hawtter so thats good, I cant wait to spend time in flowery medows with my gf! lol that sounds soft but just laying down next to her and pretending time stops feels so good. I gotta do hw tho, so nite. Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
6:47 pm	omg i'm eating soooo much food right now! Like my dad and i went to tan wong to get food for my grandma and so we decided to get some too cuz my moms gone for the week. So now i'm sitting here just eating all the food and its so delicious and greasy, i got literally 3 plates of food. Since this was the first time Chinese has ever been to my house before, i mean FIRsT TIME, i didn't know what half the stuff was on the menu. So i got an order of curry chicken, an order of kung pow chicken, and an order of chicken fingers because i've had those at friends houses and they're sto good. But like i didn't know that they give you so much food when you order stuff, there is seriously so much here and i can like barely eat it all, im gunna die like 2 weeks earlier cuz of this lol. Ugh, I have such a splitting headache right now. It hurts so bad, and idk y my head hurts either, i was like having such an amazing day today, so much better than the rest of the week was so far. So like at school was great I got to see my gf in between classes and it was nice as always, and like shes so interested in the book cuz its really good and i don't have a problem with that you know, if there was something that I was really interested in i may do that instead of walking with my gf but i probably wouldn't. Thats not the point tho, at one point i wanted to see the book to see what was so good about it to draw so much attention but she wouldn't let me at first cuz she prob thought i'd do something mean like loose her place or something but idk y she would think that so it offended me a little but it wasn't a big deal, just a stupid feeling that I get sometimes that only causes trouble as your going to see. So like after that as sort of a "punishment"  for offending me I decided to be childish and silly and walk away from her without giving her a kiss so it would be like "haha you cant get this la la la la la" but like I guess she didn't understand i mean like how would she, rite, i mean that was deff a fucking dumb ass move on my end, i even regret it as soon as she was out of my sight because it just feels bad to walk away, i mean you don't know if ur ever gunna see the person again and to leave them like that ugh i just hate thinking about it. So like that didn't effect my day really cuz i didn't think it mattered much at the time, so i printed out my snowboard today and it was pretty good i'm so happy with it i like never thought it would be as good as it turned out hehehe. Then I went to ss and had a fun time in there like i always do, such a fun class! After I made up a vocab test which wasn't that bad and then I actually had time to do my math which was good too! Then the bus ride to GHAMAS was alright my gf started getting mad at me a little but it wasn't that bad. Then I had math in which we had a quiz that i think i may have aced but idk, i either was doing it all right or all wrong haha. Then after that I had ROBOTICS which was amazing cuz everyone was building their final projects and it was so fun and I like build so much on mine today, and I always had speculations about my project not working because it just seemed like it would not work or be hard or something but I worked on it today and got all this stuff to work about perfectly and it was so awesome i'm like so happpy its the most amazingist thing ever. So like as i'm putting stuff away in the class i get sorta like a little headache, nothing big to worry about so i go to the bathroom then start walking down the hall tword the bus and its getting worse and worse and i'm like what the hell i never get headaches. So then i get on the bus and my gf seemed like 29348 times as angry at me than she did when we got off the bus so i was like shit something must be wrong. So now my head was screaming with pain like how Harry Potter feels when his scar gets split open when voldermort touches him, it felt just like that. haha. so now I can barely think or talk cuz of the pain and ppl are like whats wrong with you and ur gf? and i havent talked to her yet so i didn;t kno what was her problem but i told them that i had like a really big headache. So then the bus starts to go and my stomache is getting all fucked up as well and i'm just like wtf is going on this has to be the worst in the world, my gf prob thinks i'm just pretending to have headache for some reason cuz she seems so pissed and thats not good but like i cant really talk to her properly cuz it was hurting sto bad.Finally i decided to fuck it and bear the pain and talk to my gf because just sitting there obvi wasnt gunna do nething good. S i talked to her and tried to figure out what was wrong and it turned out to be a whole lot worse then I though and she started crying and everything and ohh god it was just terrible. The good thing was that my headache and shomach  ache sort of died down a little cuz my mind wuz like all over the place trying to figure out everything she was saying and i had to think a lot about stuff and about how I worded things cuz it was like i was in a field of land mines and one wrong word would explode the universe. But yea, as it turns out I have to be more careful about what I say to her and how I act because i was hurting her feelings and making her feel like shit and that all the effort she put into the relationship seems like a wase. I had no idea that that was happening and i felt so bad so like now i'm just sitting here rethinking my life cuz i'm such a motherfucker who hurts ppl. I really want to call her right now and talk to her but she also stated that i like never call her nemore and i just dont do stuff like i used to do. Well thats true that i dont call her that often and all that and neither does she but like we dont do things that we used to do nemore cuz in the beginning it was to show the other person that I love them but like after awhile you don't have to do that anymore, i mean, you shouldn't have to keep reasuring the other person that you love them, they should KNOW it already. but like she also said I only do stuff after she tells me for example she just told me that i dont call ne more and now if i call her it will be exactly as she suspects. Its not like that tho, I usually decide to do things on my own and stuff, i mean there are some times when she says something and i'm like oh, i totally forgot, but that happens rarely, usually its just a coincidence. Yeah, so i just finished my fortune cookie and my fortune reads "Take advantage of your great imagination. It will serve you well." Um, idk what i can do with that but i guess i could use my imagination more, it says it will serve me well after all. Thanks fortune cookie, i'll see how it turns out! Well thats about it, thats my day rite, at least i can be pretty sure that tomorrow will be better!! :) Nite Current Mood: headache Current Music: Sum 41 -The Hell Song!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, March 24th, 2008
8:52 pm	Hey, I cant talk on this for a long time becaues i'm giong to go to bed early tonite and then getting up atl ike 4 to do all my homework hopefully unless when I wake up in the morning and am like ugh and just reset my clock for a later time becaue I always happen to convince myself that I dont have that much and can do it in an hour when I obvi do but whatever, I have a test tomorrow, a week worth of math hw, ww for english, a robotics final project, and a java packet. SHIT yea well goodnite. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 21st, 2008
10:24 pm	Well, I haven't written in this for about a week, but i'm writing in it now. Nothing new or exciting really happened, I forgot what I wrote in it the last time i wrote something. what did happen was I got Pneumonia. It was pretty bad, i missed about a week or school, went back on thursday and we had good friday off so I went to school just for like a day. Over last weekend tho I went to battle of the bands and phil came over and slept over so that was pretty fun. It was when i was starting to get sick so it wasn't that amazing. I went with my gf so it was still pretty enjoyable. Uh, so thats all that happened this week, nothing like I said. So... Today since we had friday off and I was feeling better, my gf came over and we hung out for a good portion of the day which is nice because I enjoy my time with her and i'd just be playing video games or hanging out with other ppl doing not so smart things so i just really cherish the time with her. We relaxed in my room for awhile today, and then we made some pasta because she didn't eat nething all day and it was like 4pm and she was all whiny and complaining about being hungry and then eating just a lil and saying shes stuffed but like once it stops being annoying it'll be fine. I don't mind dealing with things like that, its not worth it. So after that we went to visit my grandma in the hospital for awhile which was good because idk when the last time i'm gunna see her is going to be so its good to get all the visits in while I can. Then we came back home and watched some ATHF for awhile with my gf, and that was alright, nothing I feel like talking about on a public web site that anybody can read, i mean it doesn't matter because nobody knows who I am or she is but like, idk i just don't feel like talking about it now. I'd feel like a greedy bastard but... Idk...  Idk where the like in between greed and fairness is. Its just...  nah, I can live with it longer, i've lived with it this far, whats a little farther to me, rite? I mean its not like she doesn't try cuz she does its just... time and place? Yeah. I'll blame it on that. that way I can't get mad at her and start feeling bad. thats wat it is, time and place. nobodys fault. I just wish that... nvm. I dont wish nething, watever happens is ment to and thats the way its always going to be, no time to waste ur life wishing away at hopes that are your own. I guess it just wasn't ment to be. and thats that. yea, today was great i enjoyed it with my gf and it was just a nice day overall that was pretty simple and relaxing, how life should be sometimes. no worries. its great. Aight everyone, nitee. Current Mood: Whatever Current Music: What is love? (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
9:00 pm	Hello everybody! Today was a bad day. When I woke up my throat wasn't feeling good and it was just bad all day long. School was boring except for multimedia in which like half the class played a match of halo and that was fun! Then I was with my gf for awhile and she was looking really good today! I mean like wow, i felt like one of the luckiest ppl alive. Thats only half of it tho she was happy in the morning and on the bus and it was nice seeing her like that for awhile from the contrast of yesterday, but after acad she had another bad day and I felt sry for her. I don't really like her when she is in a bad mood, but who likes ppl when they are in bad moods rite? She just snaps so much at everything you do and its so difficult to be around her. But what good would I be if I can't even handle it when someone is in a bad mood. I'm gunna stick by her side for a long long time, cuz when shes happy and smiling its all worth it. I was just talking with her on the phone and she snapped again, i'm in such a terrible mood now. I dont even feel like doing nething. I should just go to sleep cuz i have tons of hw to do tomorrow morning, wow this day really wasn't that great. I guess the only good thing was that my parents were barely home so i got some peace for awhile to be my own independent person. Ugh i really hate it when my gf says "sure" to some things that I say like she doesn't believe me or she just doesn't want to talk about it. I hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!! :( I had mac n cheese today, and played a lot of MGS3! I think i'm gunna go to bed now tho cuz i'm still feeling pretty bad and my gf wants me to, so she can see me tomorrow. I don't really care what happens tomorrow, nothing really important in school but I shouldn't be missing it, only if I feel really bad and I have too. Then theres always seeing my gf but idk how its gunna be tomorrow. I just want it to be a relaxing day cuz i have SAT's on sat and i need to be physically prepared for them. I wonder why I am getting sick so often now? I never used to get sick so much. Maybe its because i'm really close to another person now and getting germs that I wouldn't usually get. idk. I'm not gunna worry about it now. Its 10:00 exactly. Well i'm going to sleep, nite nite everybody! hope everyone had a much better day than I did! and may tomorrow bring great happiness!!!! I deff hope it does! that would be FaNtAsTiC! Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
10:21 pm	Well, well well. Today was a pretty regular day if you ask me. Nothing too special, another short day, one more and then thats it. My gf had a good day in the beginning but then horrible things happened at her acad which were really not fair but they happened anyway, feel so bad for her and want to be able to do anything but sometimes nothing can be done... I just felt like a bad bf today because i felt useless when she needed somebody the most. oh man. :( Besides that I got a new game in the mail my dad showed me when he picked me up today. MGS3!! I didn't really get a chance to play it today i read the manual for 2 hours and then played if for like 5 min b4 my gf called so i just decided to turn it off. She was better tonite but still in a bit of a sad mood. I watched her a lot today. She really reminds me of a innocent child in a teenagers body. Its really interesting to think about. I like her innocence, it makes me feel safer knowing that she doesn't think about the bad things that come about later on in life. In spite of this tho its rly hard trying to talk to her about stuff and getting her to understand some things. She was being sarcastic about changing much in 2 years, but she is going to be very surprised by how much her life actually changes. I often wonder if i'll still be a big part of her life by that time and I hope so. Eh, enough about this now, it's not that big of a deal, idk if i wanna tell her about it or not cuz it'll just conclude in another argument again. I'ma go to sleep now I guess, gotta wake up early so I can do hw and study SAT's? hopefully, i'll prob just procrastinate tho. hah Nite Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 11th, 2008
9:23 pm	woah i JUST posted that journal entry below like 3 min ago but it says i posted it at 7 something, thats when i STARTED writing that, thats cool how they have it like that,,, never knew that, haha well now everyone knows it took me 2 hours to write that one. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
7:31 pm	So today was an alright day. Nothing really special you know, nothing thats important for me to remember forever. Pretty tired all day. Got to go into school late because of CAPT testing but didn't help cuz i was up till like 12 talking. I'm like really bored right now, i just feel like going to bed soon but i know that i'm not gunna because I never do. Wow, its 2 hours later. but its still early, like 8 25, and I was talking to my gf on the phone and had a good time. Shes such an angel! OHHH I love her so much! We were talking about colors of her dress for jr prom and shes such a silly person. Can't decide on a color so shes asking everybody else(even my dad) and she decided to wear every color of the rainbow for a week to see what everyone said about how she looked in each color. Ahh, what a crazy lady! Got this youtube video stuck in my head all day long yesterday and its so funny cuz every time i look at my gf for some reason i always wanna say this one line from the video! YOU GOT A "F" IN SCHOOL haha I hope I just added it in there, still figuring out all these new features n stuff. So i'm still bored but i think i'm going to watch some robot chicken because i wanna wait to watch ATHF with my gf. Ugh i still got tons of hw but i dont have school till later on tomorrow so if  i go to bed at a reasonable time tonite then I can get up a little earlier and do it. Mmm some Ice cream sounds good right about now, shit I cant drink anymore..... whatever, its for good reasons, at least i can still have ice cream. HM! What about candy! haha ooo i'm gunna have to try that some time, I wonder if she would get pissed at me? Yay i got a cookie! Now i want milk. eh, too bad i dont feel like getting milk, ice cream is good enough. Hm, maybe i'll play some ps3 instead of watching robot chicken... Ugh I got SAT's on sat but other than that i think this weekend will be a great weekend guz i get to spend it with a lot of friends that i havent seen in awhile!! It'll be fun but i hope nothing bad happens... I really can't handle ne more arguments right now. Yeah, well I guess i'm gunna get some ice cream now. Bye bye everyone! Oh wait! I read some of my old posts and i was a pretty freaky person, i mean like i was such a a a i dont even know how to explain. Wow i was watching a commercial and I like this quote, "I wont be satisfied until theres nothing left I haven't tried."  WOOT time for sky diving! No drugs tho, or cigs, or sharp objects. ok ok i'm leaving now! Current Mood: calm Current Music: You got a F in school! (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2008
6:44 pm	HA NO WAY HEY GUYS!! shit. I can't believe that i'm actually back here again after what was the last post? 3 years ago? damn. I was just on the internet being bored cuz i'm kinda not too great right about now, so like i was reading a friends live journal and remembered suddenly that I used to have one. Well I guessed at what my username and password would have been and sure enough i was right, and i'm here again using this journal! When I have some free time and actually feel like doing something, i'm gunna read all my old journal entries... that should be such fun, get to see how much of a life i needed back then. Oh boy.   :) Well all's to say i'm having a bad day rite? What better place to spill out all my feelings then right here where only random internet stalkers can read this. EEE HAHA i  can hear my cat snoring!! aight so back to bad day, i got into an argument with my girlfriend and i just don't like arguments. Its not like it was a stupid one either, it was pretty serious but we both have different points of view and shes stubborn and i'm rational (pretty much) so theres no way its gunna end without one of us feeling it and I already told her I would chose to feel it cuz i just dont want to argue about t anymore. Even though it makes me feel like a dog on a leash I don't care that much because I love her, I don't want the relationship to end, that sounds pretty selfish but I just want to make her as happy as possible. I can prevent the relationship from turning the wrong way now, but idk how long I can handle being on a chain before it damages my feeling for her... Other then this trifle shes the perfect person in the world in my eyes. Even though shes doesn't believe me when I say this for reasons that are totally my fault, I truly believe in everything serious that she says. She is an honorable and trustworthy person, and its just good to know something like that. She is truly everything to me. Current Mood: scared Current Music: Muse - Knights Of Cydonia (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
6:30 pm	well i haven't updated in like forever so i'm updating now. well there's bad news... my grandpa died. i'm rly sad and i have to go over my gram=ndmas house a lot to keep her company. then i spent a week or so with my cousin jeff and that was fun except we got in trouble a lot which usually hapens only when i'm over then but o well he was the one who choose to play his electric guitar wit hhis brand new distorsion pedal at 12 at nite. so i came home then i spent another night at my grandmas and then from there i went to my sisters house for the weekend which was fun. when i got back i never went home and stayed at my grandmas another night. then i got home and found out that aim signed itself on and ppl were iming me and stuff while i wasn't home... So today i went shopping with my love and i got some cloths and this nice hat and now i feel really cool i'm just sittin back and chillin! i think today was the best day so far! well now i'm just talking with matt and making my own music because i'm a beat box but hes sooooo much better and i'm also watching the longest yard which is very funny so far! well thats bout it. peace. Alex Current Mood: calm Current Music: all the stuff on my psp :o) (Comment on this)
Friday, July 15th, 2005
6:26 pm	well today was a pretty good day. i acctually had fun at that camp today because it was diversity day which is where we made these banners that showed our background and mine was germany because my grandma from my mothers side came from there. also there were foods from all the backgrounds that everybody was because they all brought in food so i had some things to eat that looked pretty good. there were a lot of strange foods that i tryed and didn't like but at least i try'd them. and the stuff that i did like was ginger cookies and this rly good cake but it was all gone when i got there so i like scraped the bottem of the tray to get some to see what it was like and it was excelent. also i had some perogies which i love so much. so it was pretty fun. after that i took my kitties to the vet so they could get their lucimea shots (don't ask) i think it's to protect them from disease. well on the way back home i decided to let them loose in the car because they looked soooo sad in the cage thing i just had to let them out. well midnight kept jiding under the passenger seat so there was nothing really exciting there but tiger, well tiger walked around in the car for a bit and then he went back into the cage and just streched out and lied doown for a little bit and then he got up again and jumped into the back into the car for a bit then came back and lied down in the cage, then he went and joinded midniight under the seat for awhile and then went back into the cage for a little while and he stayed there for the rest of the trip except for ocasonally standing on that thing in between the front two seats where u put ur change and he would look out the front of the car to see how my mom was driving which was pretty cool because i felt very safe with tiger watching and making sure my mom was driving correctly. haha. Oh and by the way my sis's bf berry fianally poped the question after 2 years of them being together....they're engaged!!!! whooo hooo i'm going to have a big bro now!!!! well that whole thing reminded me that i have a question of my own to ask a certian SPECIAL person. well that my day prob going to omas a little later on. k everybody hope you all have a good 1!! L8or!!! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: song 2- blur (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 14th, 2005
9:52 pm	Well today was good, i had an extended camp today which was horrible but w/e. i had guidence class today in that place and we were making flags and stuff with expo markers on paper towells so the smell was horrible. it ended up that i accadently sniffed too much of it and and i felt real sick but i was fine in the end. then i went home and talked to the most beautiful person in the world and after that i went over to Oma's to cheack on my gramps and go swimming. Well i guess that was my day i gonna get that buddy icon making software now so i can make a special icon. hope every1 had a great day, cyaaa <3 u lisey Alex Current Mood: chipper Current Music: jock jams (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
9:45 pm	well, had that summer school thing today only 2 more days till my mom will stop making me go there. which is nice. well after school i didn't do nething because there was nothing to do. then it got later and like everyones parents left to go see some concert so i was left home, but i was glad because i got to pose for the camera :o) and have a good sized convo too. well my mouth is sort of tired now for trying to smile sideways for along time but i think i got it now! so thats about all there was of my day oh yeah and i was listening to music b4 while talking to my rly good friend that moved away from here to mv. well gotta go take a shower so i can smell nice and sexy with that body wash stuff that i got hehe. hope all of you had a great day! ALex Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: behind these hazle eyes (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
9:40 pm	ok i'm better now so i'm going to attempt to tell u how horrible my day has been, untill shortly b4 now. uh oh g2g rly sooon so maybe i cant say nething. camp sucked but i have to go again tomorrow i think my mom is going to fix it becuase i've been in the wrong class. g2g cyaa <3 you liseanne Alex (Comment on this)
8:15 pm	well first day of camp today. not good. felt terrible already. now it's worse. think i did something. don't feel like writing this anymore. just want to talk to her. see if it rly was me ); Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
9:11 pm	Finally back home but tomorrow i have to start the most horrible summer camp ever. it's like science or something. but it's only a half of a day so i will be home the other half to catch up on what has happened with all my friends while i was gone. well mv was rly funn i got to see all my buds there like kyle, aj, and matt. O man i saw this rly funny movie with aj, it was anchorman and it was so funny. well after i left i went to my grandparents house and spent the night. my grandpa isn't doing well and has days left to live and i'm pretty sad. so this week coming up i'm not doing that much except for the camp but then i have the rest of those days free to do nething. cyaaaaaaa Alex (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
9:11 pm	ahah forgot the quotations lol ok then lets see how about all u reaaders out there fill in the blank hehe!! The QUOTATIONS --> "___________________________" p.s. the writing doesn't have to be the same length as the blank it could be one word or a hundred, get it!? u can submit an answer by clicking the comment on this button and writing the answer in quotations( " ) (Comment on this)